I'm 32. I have 4 children - 3 boys and a girl. I've been with my husband for 11 years. And 2 weeks ago - he sent me divorce papers. Apparently, I'm not as fun as a teenager. Grown up life proved to be too much. He cheated, I cheated, then he cheated again and hasn't stopped yet. He left December 11, 2009. The boys and I have been left to deal with the ups and downs, cleaning up the messes and get on with life. So this is me - getting on with my life. Reluctantly.
My sons - The Oldest (14), The Middle Son (7) and The Youngest Boy (3) have been my reasons for carrying on and have provided solace when I didn't think it was possible. The 4 of us have formed this little tribe - unbreakable and delicate at the same time. In August 2010 we welcomed Mini-Me- my daughter- into the world. So go- do the math. Yep - he left 8 days after the "+" sign. But hey - we're not the first ones to go through this and we surely aren't the last. Together we have faced some interesting and frustrating obstacles. I don't know where I'd be without them.
My friends have been there for me at all hours of the night. Helping me analyze every text, call, email, visit and communication over the last 10 or so months. Up to now I'd never been the type to cry. Let alone cry uncontrollably. Definetly not the type to cry uncontrollably on people. Oh and never in public. Boy how things change. Used to be a time where I was always right. My gut was never, ever wrong. It's been an adjustment! Not only is my gut wrong but I've been more wrong than I have ever thought possible.
Anyway - my family, friends, therapist and even soon-to-be ex husband always said I should write. It's always been my dream. I don't want to pen the next Angela's Ashes or anything, nor do I want fame & fortune (at least not until the divorce is final, haha) - I just want to get it out. Sometimes it's funny. Sometimes it's angry. Sometimes it's torn, confused, hurt, tearful or astounded. It's always something. Maybe somewhere someone else will find this in the vast internet and get some inspiration.
Wow. I'm so sorry for your pain, but writing is good advice. I'm doing the same, and I can't tell you how much more empowered I feel. But it took me almost three years to tell me story...so see how much braver and stronger you are?
ReplyDeleteCongratulations on finding your voice. And best of luck to you and your tribe.