With every passing year, there is a brief time of reflection (about 3 days before NY and maybe 5 days after) on what transpired in those preceding months. Then, we prepare to dive, head first, into a fresh, new calendar. 365 unwritten pages. For me, this has been a pretty limit testing/rewarding year. I'm looking forward, gratefully, to the next 8,760 hours.
2013 opened my eyes in so many ways. There have been lots of superficial things that have made me think and made me smile or hurt my heart and made me cry (entirely more happiness over pain). And I take with me into 2014 and beyond, the wisdom from those grins and sobs. I'm also packing the enlightenment of anger. I'm pretty sure I can title 2013 as "The Year I Was Really Pissed Off". However, looking for the soft, gooey center of all that petulance was the clarity that followed. I generally go out of my way to avoid being mad. It took a long time to let go of the baggage of things that happened when I was little and I think I overcompensated. I undervalued the benefits of this less than pleasant emotion. It provides motivation to get a lot of things done. It got me through the hardest parts of the year. Thank you, Fury, I owe you one, but it's time to put you back into the holster. I promise I won't let you get dusty.
Milestones were bittersweet. The Oldest started driving lessons. Very little actually scares me. Except something happening to one of my children. It's a Craven/Shelley/King/Lovecraft/Poe/Manson/Bieber compilation of thought. My child operating a vehicle is terrifying. There was an intermission, though. For close to a month, he was unable to move much. Not sure which incites more trepidation - car accidents or surgical procedures. We spent about a week together in a small room in Cincinnati. Just staring at each other. His mole is gone. But scars now reside in it's place. And we learned so much about skin grafts. And the courage inside of my amazing son. He made the difficult choice to go through this painful surgery to avoid an uncertain future. (This is my side note vent at Melissa Etheridge, an avid reader of my blog: FUCK YOU LADY. It takes a lot of guts to take a preventative step to avoid cancer. Sure, you were talking to Angelina Jolie. But you were kicking dirt in the faces of those who make similar choices to control a potentially life threatening and volatile disease. You made a different choice and it worked out, because you're still here. Good for you, that doesn't make you Queen Shit of Cancer.) His determination paid off. "Benign" is my new favorite word. Then the little shit went and became a senior in high school. Not my little baby anymore. 2014 brings with it a graduation party and the big "18".
Soccer-mom-hood hit with a vengeance. The Youngest Boy discovered sports and loves it. I, of course, found a love for being a mom on the sideline. Cheering, quashing my internal loudmouthed Bitch, learning how to work a double elimination tournament bracket. Watching his fall team rock an undefeated season, bring home medals and trophies - made me really proud. His commitment to teamwork is pretty awesome. And, I didn't punch anyone! He is also reading well above his grade level. This pride comes with us. Soccer can stay too. (12 more days until indoor winter season starts) It's inspiring Miss Mini-Me. She packs a little backpack full of things to do during practices and games. She roots her brothers team on and plays with him at home too. There's a large net folded under my china closet, 2 small nets on the patio, a stockpile of cones in the living room, and this morning I tripped over his newest soccer ball. This is a result of their friendship (even though I am preeeeeeety sure she slapped him a few times).
I gained a new respect for the teaching profession. Teaching The Middle Son at home has been very taxing on the soul. Saluting all the teachers out there, high! I have to know my own limits, though. The silver lining of this experience is that had it not happened, it would've taken a lot longer to get a diagnosis. We needed this. Next week, he will rejoin society and public school. Fortunately, I'm only seconds away. It's going to be interesting and exciting. While I won't let him sink completely I'm also going to be letting him do a lot of his own swimming. I won't be around forever and Autism isn't the end of the world. He's high functioning and he's not going to adapt if I shield him. Advocate, not shelter. So I need to put the strength from the last year into my carry on luggage.
For me, the resolutions I've set for myself are cliche. Eat better, take better care of myself, workout more, increase my volunteer hours, and write. Usually, they are silly and easily attainable. Though, I blew the "I won't say 'farfegnugen'" resolution of 2011 within the first 2 weeks. I am going to throw in a "I won't operate a shopping cart faster than 2 mph" for 2014. And maybe a "I won't flip my neighbor off" (not the ones immediately on both sides, more like the ones across the street and 2 doors down on the left and 3 down on the right). I might do something reckless, too - trim my hair, wear pink (I hate pink), shoot a gun (I hate guns), beat ZombieU, and get arrested for Public Intox at a high school graduation.
I wish the best for everyone reading this. While my follower list is quite small and consists of a handful of friends, this blog did cross the 4000 hit mark a few weeks ago and I got my first writer's paycheck. The hit count means a lot to me. It means that you're here on purpose. So, thank you. Go do something fun tonight and try not to end up in jail.
Showing posts with label fire. Show all posts
Showing posts with label fire. Show all posts
Tuesday, December 31, 2013
Thursday, December 15, 2011
A Little Something for the Holidays
I've been quiet, I know - Uncharacteristic of me. Sorry, I discovered Pinterest and am now an addict. Seems like I should get on a 12 Step Program but I'd rather create one with ribbons, bows, recycled newspapers and strategically placed snark.
I wrote this almost exactly 3 years ago and it was so funny that I had to share it again.
Article by Anastasia Beaverhousen
Somewhere In, Ohio - A late night craving for a Peanut Butter Blossom cookie is being heralded as the hero in an early morning fire in a local duplex. Ms. Ever After mother of 3 boys, laid down on her couch to catch up on some television when she started to feel sleepy. Knowing that she had several baskets of wet clothes that needed to dry she set her cell phone alarm to wake her at 3:15 a.m. At approximately 2:45 a.m. Ms. Ever After decided to succumb to her sweet tooth in lieu of taking a nap.
"I sat down and started to doze off, ya know, and then I wanted a cookie," stated Ms. Ever After. "I got up and went to the pantry, grabbed the bag of cookies - you know, my sons and I made these cookies on Sunday and they are so good - and went back to watch Top Chef. I'm rooting for Hosea and he won the challenge! I've picked all the recent winners of reality shows - Project Runway and Bob on Survivor is my favorite." That's when she states she heard something strange coming from the wall. "That's when I heard something strange coming from the wall. It sounded like buzzing. You know, like on that Powder movie when he made that Jacob's Ladder flip the (explicative deleted) out! And I thought 'What the (explicative deleted) was what?' and then I saw black smoke and I was like 'whoa'." This is the moment where, according to the fire chief, quick thinking was the most important.
"I jumped up off the couch and check the tree lights and they were okay" she explained, "and then I realized it was coming from under the entertainment center." It was at this point where Ms. Ever After ran to her pantry and removed the fire extinguisher that she had purchased for her estranged husband as a gag gift following an April fire in a wrestling ring. "I don't think I even had time to read the instructions. I just followed my instinct and sprayed." Unfortunately, her efforts to snuff the fire would go on in vain. As the room started to fill with smoke and fire extinguisher spray it became more and more difficult to breathe. "My youngest boy, he's 2 you know, was asleep on the couch less that 4 feet away. When I couldn't get the fire to stay out I grabbed him and ran to the phone." Her two other children were asleep in bedrooms upstairs.
"I called Mike to come over since, you know, the water pump on my car is out and I had no heat and he could take the kids with him if he needed to. Since all the holiday presents were in the garage I couldn't put the kids in there." She then called 9-1-1 and rushed to get her children outside to safety. A local police officer was able to halt the flow of electricity to the fire which immediately put the fire out. Fire Department crews responded quickly and were able to determine the cause of the fire as an overloaded extension cord. "Hell, I didn't know that there was an extension cord even back there, let alone with piggybacked adapters in it." Not a mistake that this family will make again.
When interviewed, the fire chief explained that this is the time of year for Christmas lights to cause fires and they fully expected it to be the lights when they came in. Had Ms. Ever After fallen asleep the results would have been disastrous. By the time the smoke would have reached the smoke detector in the hall, it could have been too late. An hour and a half later the family was able to safely return to their home. "I'm so glad that I paid up my Renter's Insurance. I'm gonna be rich!!! This is like winning the lotto, like them guys in Piqua just did. Only mine was a fire and not worth $207,000,000.00." Total estimated damage came to roughly $100. "Now maybe I can get me some new carpet from my landlord. That'd be awesome! Shoo Wee am I glad that I wanted that cookie!"
Everyone was able to make it out of the house safely and no one was injured. Ms. Ever After probably should have been treated for smoke inhalation but instead smoked a cigarette. The most difficult situation that this family has to handle is cleaning up all of the soot and powder. When we inquired about her plans for clean up Ms. Ever After had this to say "Damn, I ain't ever gonna git that (explicative deleted) out of my (explicative deleted) carpet, clothes, hair and mouth. This (explicative deleted) sucks!"
I wrote this almost exactly 3 years ago and it was so funny that I had to share it again.
Sweet Tooth Saves Family of 4
Article by Anastasia Beaverhousen
Somewhere In, Ohio - A late night craving for a Peanut Butter Blossom cookie is being heralded as the hero in an early morning fire in a local duplex. Ms. Ever After mother of 3 boys, laid down on her couch to catch up on some television when she started to feel sleepy. Knowing that she had several baskets of wet clothes that needed to dry she set her cell phone alarm to wake her at 3:15 a.m. At approximately 2:45 a.m. Ms. Ever After decided to succumb to her sweet tooth in lieu of taking a nap.
"I sat down and started to doze off, ya know, and then I wanted a cookie," stated Ms. Ever After. "I got up and went to the pantry, grabbed the bag of cookies - you know, my sons and I made these cookies on Sunday and they are so good - and went back to watch Top Chef. I'm rooting for Hosea and he won the challenge! I've picked all the recent winners of reality shows - Project Runway and Bob on Survivor is my favorite." That's when she states she heard something strange coming from the wall. "That's when I heard something strange coming from the wall. It sounded like buzzing. You know, like on that Powder movie when he made that Jacob's Ladder flip the (explicative deleted) out! And I thought 'What the (explicative deleted) was what?' and then I saw black smoke and I was like 'whoa'." This is the moment where, according to the fire chief, quick thinking was the most important.
"I jumped up off the couch and check the tree lights and they were okay" she explained, "and then I realized it was coming from under the entertainment center." It was at this point where Ms. Ever After ran to her pantry and removed the fire extinguisher that she had purchased for her estranged husband as a gag gift following an April fire in a wrestling ring. "I don't think I even had time to read the instructions. I just followed my instinct and sprayed." Unfortunately, her efforts to snuff the fire would go on in vain. As the room started to fill with smoke and fire extinguisher spray it became more and more difficult to breathe. "My youngest boy, he's 2 you know, was asleep on the couch less that 4 feet away. When I couldn't get the fire to stay out I grabbed him and ran to the phone." Her two other children were asleep in bedrooms upstairs.
"I called Mike to come over since, you know, the water pump on my car is out and I had no heat and he could take the kids with him if he needed to. Since all the holiday presents were in the garage I couldn't put the kids in there." She then called 9-1-1 and rushed to get her children outside to safety. A local police officer was able to halt the flow of electricity to the fire which immediately put the fire out. Fire Department crews responded quickly and were able to determine the cause of the fire as an overloaded extension cord. "Hell, I didn't know that there was an extension cord even back there, let alone with piggybacked adapters in it." Not a mistake that this family will make again.
When interviewed, the fire chief explained that this is the time of year for Christmas lights to cause fires and they fully expected it to be the lights when they came in. Had Ms. Ever After fallen asleep the results would have been disastrous. By the time the smoke would have reached the smoke detector in the hall, it could have been too late. An hour and a half later the family was able to safely return to their home. "I'm so glad that I paid up my Renter's Insurance. I'm gonna be rich!!! This is like winning the lotto, like them guys in Piqua just did. Only mine was a fire and not worth $207,000,000.00." Total estimated damage came to roughly $100. "Now maybe I can get me some new carpet from my landlord. That'd be awesome! Shoo Wee am I glad that I wanted that cookie!"
Everyone was able to make it out of the house safely and no one was injured. Ms. Ever After probably should have been treated for smoke inhalation but instead smoked a cigarette. The most difficult situation that this family has to handle is cleaning up all of the soot and powder. When we inquired about her plans for clean up Ms. Ever After had this to say "Damn, I ain't ever gonna git that (explicative deleted) out of my (explicative deleted) carpet, clothes, hair and mouth. This (explicative deleted) sucks!"
Sunday, November 21, 2010
And I still don't know what it is...
I fancy myself somewhat of a Do-It-Yourselfer when it comes to car repairs, home improvement tasks and most everything that is not of the electrical pursuation. Some things I'm pretty good at. Some things I need some more practice with and some things are straight up over my head.
Over the weekend I encountered one such obstacle. For the first time in about 8 or 9 years I have a fireplace. Let me tell you that I am head over heels in love with this fireplace. It makes me happy to sit there holding my little girl in the rocking chair, warming my tootsies, sipping hot cocoa by glowing embers. Talk about relaxation! Maybe someday, when I meet a man brave enough, I'll share it with someone special. One downside to this awesome feature of my new home is the care and maintenance of said fireplace.
Currently, I am without a fireplace kit. No poker. No shovel. No strange little brush. Of course this does not deter me from using the fireplace. Ever. I'm a whiz at improv! So I needed to clean out some of the ashes in the fireplace. I find this to be a tedious job using an empty box of Little Debbie Star Crunch's and an empty speculum box (what? My sister works for a gynocologist and she saved me some boxes). As I am scooping up ashes with the star crunch box and pouring them into the empty speculum box I make a discovery. There, in the bottom of my fireplace, is a trap door. It's about the size of a mail slot. And it's right there in the floor.
I press on it and it opens. I can't really see anything in it either. My ex conveniently took most of the tools and the flashlights (not that it would help since the kids like to run the batteries down in them anyway.)This is when The Oldest offers his suggestion. "Put your hand in it and see if you can pull out the DaVinci Code." Yes- that's my kid! He's gonna make some woman so proud someday. I, of course, decline. Instead, I drop some ashes down in it. Then I got to wondering where it leads to and what it's for and maybe putting ashes in it is a bad idea. So I closed it back up and went about my business. My dad has been gone for roughly almost 8 years. Can't call him. Everyone else I know suggests I google it. I am sure that it has to be some kind of storage for ashes but I can't be 100% sure. If it is - um where does it lead to? Do I have to clean it out? Is there any other way of opening it without getting burned.
Most importantly, WHAT IS IT???
Over the weekend I encountered one such obstacle. For the first time in about 8 or 9 years I have a fireplace. Let me tell you that I am head over heels in love with this fireplace. It makes me happy to sit there holding my little girl in the rocking chair, warming my tootsies, sipping hot cocoa by glowing embers. Talk about relaxation! Maybe someday, when I meet a man brave enough, I'll share it with someone special. One downside to this awesome feature of my new home is the care and maintenance of said fireplace.
Currently, I am without a fireplace kit. No poker. No shovel. No strange little brush. Of course this does not deter me from using the fireplace. Ever. I'm a whiz at improv! So I needed to clean out some of the ashes in the fireplace. I find this to be a tedious job using an empty box of Little Debbie Star Crunch's and an empty speculum box (what? My sister works for a gynocologist and she saved me some boxes). As I am scooping up ashes with the star crunch box and pouring them into the empty speculum box I make a discovery. There, in the bottom of my fireplace, is a trap door. It's about the size of a mail slot. And it's right there in the floor.
I press on it and it opens. I can't really see anything in it either. My ex conveniently took most of the tools and the flashlights (not that it would help since the kids like to run the batteries down in them anyway.)This is when The Oldest offers his suggestion. "Put your hand in it and see if you can pull out the DaVinci Code." Yes- that's my kid! He's gonna make some woman so proud someday. I, of course, decline. Instead, I drop some ashes down in it. Then I got to wondering where it leads to and what it's for and maybe putting ashes in it is a bad idea. So I closed it back up and went about my business. My dad has been gone for roughly almost 8 years. Can't call him. Everyone else I know suggests I google it. I am sure that it has to be some kind of storage for ashes but I can't be 100% sure. If it is - um where does it lead to? Do I have to clean it out? Is there any other way of opening it without getting burned.
Most importantly, WHAT IS IT???
Saturday, November 20, 2010
Light My Fire
It's 9 pm on a Saturday night. Here I am, nursing my 3 month old daughter while typing this blog. My youngest son is perched on the back of a couch watching Goosebumps. My middle son is in his room playing on his Playstation and my oldest is on his Nintendo. We're all "plugged in" so to speak. This is the first time I've sat here just relaxing.
Less than a month ago I made a decision to move. Some say that's pretty crazy. Our landlord refused to fix my dishwasher that had caught on fire. So that day I checked the paper and found the only listing for a house for rent. It was in my price range and sounded good. The next day I called and scheduled a visit. We took 5 steps in and I was ready to hand over a check. Immediately, I fell in love with a house. I filled out the application and went home and prayed with every fiber of my being. If you know me, you know how crazy that sounds. And within hours we got the call. The house was ours. The next day I handed him over a check. Here I sit, not even a month later, in my new living room. And there are no ghost stories. Only blank sheets of paper for us to fill.
Packing, working, taking care of 4 kids and celebrating my youngest sons birthday was challenging, to say the least. I had help with the actual moving itself but as far as packing and unpacking- I've had very little. Each box made me stronger. Each step was an inch closer to my dreams. With every roadblock I got smarter. Even though we've only lived here for 16 days I feel like I'm home. I feel like I have to keep conquering the unconquerable. Just to prove to myself that I can do it. I found myself again. Last year I almost lost myself. It's rough to admit that I was close to ending my own life. So many things presented themselves in just such a way to respark my inner light. For that I am so truly grateful. You have a choice - either let the flame consume you or let the fire propel you.
Less than a month ago I made a decision to move. Some say that's pretty crazy. Our landlord refused to fix my dishwasher that had caught on fire. So that day I checked the paper and found the only listing for a house for rent. It was in my price range and sounded good. The next day I called and scheduled a visit. We took 5 steps in and I was ready to hand over a check. Immediately, I fell in love with a house. I filled out the application and went home and prayed with every fiber of my being. If you know me, you know how crazy that sounds. And within hours we got the call. The house was ours. The next day I handed him over a check. Here I sit, not even a month later, in my new living room. And there are no ghost stories. Only blank sheets of paper for us to fill.
Packing, working, taking care of 4 kids and celebrating my youngest sons birthday was challenging, to say the least. I had help with the actual moving itself but as far as packing and unpacking- I've had very little. Each box made me stronger. Each step was an inch closer to my dreams. With every roadblock I got smarter. Even though we've only lived here for 16 days I feel like I'm home. I feel like I have to keep conquering the unconquerable. Just to prove to myself that I can do it. I found myself again. Last year I almost lost myself. It's rough to admit that I was close to ending my own life. So many things presented themselves in just such a way to respark my inner light. For that I am so truly grateful. You have a choice - either let the flame consume you or let the fire propel you.
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